1 1/2 months-ish.

So.
1 and a half months later.
Still pretty much still at square uno.
What can i say, half the stuff down right there still applies.
Im bein hella stupid...
When i see her i pretty much try to be with her alot...um..yeah im sorta still at davis...
and when i try to be with her and well...i guess i try to spend time with her
but when i think she starting to give off a vibe of "go away..." i'll start giving off a vibe of well...forget it...and give off a vibe of "i dont need this" and eventually it cycles around again lol..
yeah..well ima edit this later anyway. Leaving this inn soon.
just an update on my crappy life. cyaz.

Scream. Die. Live.

Life sucks. Oh what i just realized that? No.
I realized that long time ago. Am i emo? heh, no.
But yes life hella sucks. And i would totally cuss the heck out of this post except that this blog may be found by my friends.
So today's "life" problem thats been killin me.
Well, where the heck do i start.
I really like this girl and we used to be really good friends at least i thought.
I used to sit next to her in my math class last year. We hung out once during summer.
Well, the school year started half a year ago. I was in none of her classes, which now looking back was a good thing because not seeing me alot would make her miss me more...*sigh.
But anyway i ended up switching my classes around just so i could be in her math class again. And no i never got to sit next her again. I started to get all pissy and stupid cuz i would never get to talk to her...heh..i actually started singin in class -.- very stupid i know...she probably got mad at me inside...
And whats worse now...her english teacher left the school cuz of cancer and now..she had to change eng. class periods which meant she changed math periods too..and guess whats ironically crappy, she changed periods back to the class i had switched from in the beg. of the year.
And i dunno what happend i think her sister told her i like her or something..but
its like she doesnt want to talk to me anymore; she doesnt want to be around me..like if shes in a group chatting..and i come..she leaves within 1 minute..every single time...
i used to tellher she looked pretty..now when i tell her she makes a wierd face as if shes disgusted...
all our AIM conversations she replies every 7 minutes literally and never gives more than 5 or 6 word answers.
i feel like our relationship is deteorating more and more...and i dont ever want that to happen.
and im scared.
im afraid.
i want her back.
i think im selfish.
i need support.
ironic...she just walkedin the room..and left...after 3 seconds...(im at school.)
*sigh
i pray and i ask and i talk to mentors.
now i pray one more small prayer.
God, help me fix my relationship, and to help me increase its value and that she would care more. And that i ...i dunno...
just help...please?
In your name...Amen.

Anyone wanting to give me moral support? please talk to me.
And yeah i guess i am letting 1 girl run my life...but...well i'll post more of my problems up later.
Damn Valentines Day...Hate this time of the year when everyone gets to have a good time with their signif. other when i stand and watch and wish...and long for a better life.

The Real Splitter

You wanna know what i want?

I want.. to make the world bleed.
I want to set it on fire, and let it burn.